


Resting Venom

by Zerrat



Category: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/F, Hate Sex, Pseudo Incest, Unhealthy Relationships, incest guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 03:23:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerrat/pseuds/Zerrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An eternity as Etro's champion has changed Lightning, and the isolation of Valhalla has taken its toll on her mind just as much as it has her body. Lumina, the chaotic being wearing Serah's face, seems like she was designed for the sole purpose of breaking Lightning.</p><p>Things quickly reach critical, and as much of a monster as it makes her... Lightning isn't sure she really wants to win this battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resting Venom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Swampert653 (lionsenpai)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionsenpai/gifts).



> Content Notes: Highly dubious consent moving into consent, hate sex, unstable emotions, unhealthy relationships and pseudo incest. 
> 
> Just something a little different. 
> 
> **Note: this fic was written pre-release of Lightning Returns, and was consistent with pre-release information up to a point.**
> 
> This one is for [Swampert](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Swampert653/pseuds/Swampert653), and she knows _exactly_ why.

An eternity as Etro's champion had changed Lightning. 

She'd spent the equivalent of a thousand years alone in an unseen world where time itself didn't so much as flow as oozed, all stubborn and painfully slow. In the other world, in reality, her friends and family had all gone on without her. She'd been alone, cut off from even the most basic elements of human contact. 

That had been the price she'd paid to ensure their safety. Only now, only when she awoke, did she really appreciate what it had cost her.

Lightning was no stranger to what solitary confinement could do to a person. She'd been in the Guardian Corps before the world had gone to hell, and she'd done her time acting as a warden in the Hanging Edge prison. She knew that men and women shoved in lockdown came out messed up - anxious, impulsive and ruled by unstable emotion. Back then, she'd felt sorry for them, with their haunted eyes and stark expressions.

What Lightning had done for Etro, for all that time, made even the deepest, darkest and loneliest hole in the Hanged Edge prison seem like a walk along the beach. 

She'd woken up from five hundred years of dreamless stasis, and _that_ had been preceded by empty eons fighting Caius. When she'd pushed herself up out of the sand, no longer in Valhalla, on Gran Pulse or anywhere that she recognised, she hadn't felt anything. Mild confusion, perhaps, but that was where it ended. There was no sadness for Serah, no grief for a world locked in an inexorable doomsday countdown. There hadn't even been any anger toward Caius.

Instead, Lightning had only felt tired. The normal range of human emotion had simply been beyond her - that had been the toll Valhalla had extracted of her. She'd looked down at her gloved hands as she'd tightened them into weary fists. 

"Better get to it, then," Lightning had told herself, her voice sounding foreign in her own ears. Saving the world for whatever deity took a liking to her seemed to be the only thing she was good for. 

As she'd moved through the streets of an alien world, struggling to make sense of the nightmare she'd awoken in, she began to think that maybe her messed up emotions - or lack thereof - was a good thing. 

A part of Lightning even wished it had stayed that way.

###

The numbness didn't last, though Lightning was surprised at how _hard_ a blow it had taken before she'd been jolted from her vague sense of disconnected dreaming. Seeing how far Hope had come, how Snow had fallen, how Noel had given into anger and hate - all of that should have affected Lightning. She'd set them all on their paths, meddled in their fates - she'd redirected their destinies into something else entirely. 

Instead she felt nothing. Maybe, if she'd been able to draw on a little emotion, she might have been afraid of what Valhalla had forced her to become. 

No, the first time that Lightning felt strong emotion of any variety since awakening was when she'd first laid eyes on an _individual_ who had stolen Serah's image. For a moment, Lightning had been completely blind-sided by the appearance of her sister in a place where she simply could not exist. She had just stared, reminded vividly of her meeting with Barthandelus on Oerba's wrecked bridge. Back then, he'd assumed Serah's form, and he'd tried to ply the l'Cie with emotion rather than violence. 

This person was different, though. Even in that first meeting, that much had been clear.

She didn't even _pretend_ to be Serah, and it was an insult in the way Barthandelus' deception had fundamentally failed. As if by coincidence alone, she bore Serah's features, and that was what finally breached the apathetic armour Lightning had maintained for so long.

The girl smiled as she'd spoken words practically dripping poison - words of fate, of the future, and of Lightning's role in the destruction of the world. She'd murmured words of luck as if she meant them, and then she'd called on monsters to break and bury Lightning once and for all.

She was so blatantly _not_ Serah that something deep and violent had kicked over in Lightning's chest. That was when her emotions had sputtered to life, no longer cold and dead but overwhelming in their intensity. White-hot rage had suffused her, and with a roar, Lightning attacked the monsters the girl had called.

Lightning made short and brutal work of them. Despite her best efforts, the girl was long gone by the time she was done.

The streets were empty of monsters - distractions. There was no outlet for Lightning's toxic and all-consuming rage. With a bitter curse, she'd sheathed her sword on her back and forced her emotions to simmer back down into the box they'd been carefully locked away in for so long. 

Monsters, fate, and a villain wearing her sister's face... Lightning shook her head, her hand slowly clenching into a fist. 'Lumina' - or whoever the hell she was - would find she was dead wrong if she believed any of those things would break Lightning.

###

The next time Lightning crossed paths with Lumina - who was _not_ Serah, and she repeated it in an endless mantra - things had not gone as planned. 

Lumina appeared in black smoke and motes of light. Her head tilted to the side, she'd simply observed Lightning violently dispatch more of the nightlife that plagued Luxerion. None of the onlookers seemed to notice the girl's appearance at all. 

"Seems like you really are a destroyer," Lumina commented as Lightning finally gutted the last monster. There was a playful lilt to her voice in spite of her venomous words - it seemed to be her MO. 

_Not for much longer,_ Lightning thought as sheathed her blade on her back. 

Without missing a beat, she flashed forward. That Lumina wore Serah's face meant _nothing_ , and Lightning wrapped her hand around the pretender's throat. Her whole body was taut to the point of shaking, all from the effort of just barely controlling her rage. 

Lumina's blue eyes widened when Lightning leaned in close, her teeth bared in a snarl of fury. Her eyes were just a shade darker than Serah's - she was not a perfect duplicate, then - but none of that mattered as Lightning slowly contracted her grasp. 

She could kill Lumina and send a message to her maker. It would be sickeningly easy to do so. Beyond that warm, pale skin, Lumina's throat was just flesh, bone and cartilage. With just a twitch, Lightning could crush it all beneath her fingers, leaving this abomination to suffocate on blood and her own collapsed windpipe. She could walk away and leave Lumina to die on the ground. She'd done far worse in Valhalla. 

The seconds crawled on, and Lightning continued to hesitate. Her hand, locked about Lumina's throat, began to cramp up. She knew what she needed to do - she just couldn't seem to rally herself enough to take that last step.

_I can't. Not with that face._

Lumina's eyes narrowed, openly reassessing, as though the vise-like grip about her throat was just an annoyance. A chill ran down Lightning's spine, and her breath seemed to stick in her throat. Abruptly, even holding the girl at arms-length in a choke-hold felt far too close for comfort.

Lumina _smiled_ at her, as though she'd just discovered something huge. The expression didn't quite meet her eyes. 

Slowly, her hands moved to cover the one Lightning had locked about her throat. Her skin felt warm through the leather. Lightning swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. What was her play?

"You can't hurt me. You love me too much."

The quote hit Lightning like a physical blow, and she reeled back. How the hell could Lumina know? How could she - 

The girl slipped from her grasp when Lightning faltered, _laughing_ , as if it was all some huge game to her. 

Before Lightning could pursue, Lumina shot her a knowing look over her shoulder, just for a moment. Her smile grew a little wider, and she simply faded away into shadow.

Finally alone and free of Serah's chaotic doppelganger for the moment, Lightning's shoulders sagged. Taking deep breaths in an effort to calm herself, she clenched her teeth, her hands balling into helpless fists. As her rage continued to spiral out of control, she slammed a punch into the nearest wall. 

_She is **not** Serah. Why the hell did I hesitate?_

Lightning hated Lumina with a fury that shocked her. She'd never hated anyone like that before - not since Barthandelus. Even then, he'd been different, a wannabe god talking down to tools. In contrast, Lumina was a personal torture, a pawn in some sort of psychological warfare waged on Lightning by Etro only knew _who_. But it was Serah's face she was wearing, and for that reason alone, when the hate faded, it was bone-deep loneliness that she felt instead. 

Serah was long gone, sent to her doom by Lightning herself. Now, there was Lumina to contend with, who was nothing but a reminder of her failure and weakness when Serah had needed her the most. Bitter emotion welled up inside her chest, threatening to choke her. 

_"Hey, Light. Are you okay? You went quiet for a moment there."_ Hope's voice, ever present in her ear, jerked her back to reality.

A little shaken by the direction her thoughts had taken her, Lightning activated the comm link. 

"I'm fine, Hope." It didn't matter that she wasn't really 'fine'. What mattered was that she got on with her job and saved the world like a good servant of Bhunivelze.

 _I'm just a tool again._ The thought was a bitter one.

_"Are you sure? You seem a little-"_

Lightning flicked the comm link off, shutting Hope and his questions out as she tried to pour her anger and grief into something useful.

###

Lumina had never exactly been afraid of Nova Chrysalia's supposed harbinger and saviour. She seemed to view Lightning as a plaything to be pushed to the limit and broken, but after their last encounter, a key part of their dynamic had altered irrevocably. The next time they met it was in the darkened streets of Yusnaan after Lightning had stormed away from yet another fruitless meeting with Snow. 

The hair at the back of Lightning's neck had prickled, and she'd paused a moment, looking over her shoulder and wondering if she needed to draw her weapon. The watcher didn't seem threatening - only curious. 

She reached for her sword, anyway. Enough seemingly benign encounters had turned sour lately, and she'd learned that lesson well. 

Just ahead, Lumina walked out of the light cast by the street lamp as if she hadn't a care in the world. 

Lightning's eyes narrowed as she watched the girl approach, her weapon drawn, but her stance deliberately relaxed. She heard the leather of her gloves creak as she tightened her grasp on her sword's hilt. 

_Easy,_ she reminded herself. She still wasn't clear on whether Lumina was meant to be friend or foe. The less charitable side of Lightning was very much leaning toward "foe".

"What do you want, Lumina?" The name felt bitter on Lightning's lips, and it was all she could do to keep her tone of voice even. 

_Lumina. Not Serah. Serah's gone._

Lumina smiled, and she clasped her hands in front of her. She looked as if she'd expected that question, and she began to circle Lightning in slow, deliberate steps. 

"What do you think I want?" Lumina asked finally, her eyes narrowing but her cunning smile not fading in the slightest. There was sly venom in her tone, like she was a coiling snake waiting to strike. 

Lightning refused to be drawn, setting her stance and watching Lumina move. She was not afraid of this doppelganger, no matter how predatory her gaze was. 

"Why in Etro's name would I harass _you_? All you want is to be left in peace, so you can end the world... isn't that right?" Lumina sighed, tapping her cheek thoughtfully. "After all, it hurts you to see me. I remind you of everything you lost when you gambled with Caius. I remind you that you _lost_. Isn't that right, 'warrior goddess'?"

Lightning's jaw clenched until it ached, white hot rage flashing. She quelled it, but these days, her temper was difficult to reign in. Lumina, on the other hand, looked as though she was pleased with the conflict and pain she was causing.

 _She's definitely enjoying something._ The look in her eyes was - Lightning couldn't quite describe it. _What is this?_

"You loved Serah." Lumina spun around as she circled back to Lightning's front, her smile widening as she tilted her head to the side, so very reminiscent of Serah. "She was your only _family._ Tragic."

Lightning glared at Lumina through her bangs, anger, hatred and grief rising up and choking her. Her throat had grown tight, and her grasp on her weapon had started to tremble. She wanted to lash out and strike Serah's doppelganger down - no, she _longed_ to do it. She couldn't, though. Not with the face Lumina wore. 

"What do you _want_?" Lightning's voice was flat and emotionless, concealing the paralysing levels of hatred raging inside her.

Lumina darted forward, closing the distance between them in a few quick steps. Before Lightning could think to jerk away, Lumina had hooked her arm around the back of her neck, pulling her down and off balance. 

Lightning's breath caught in her throat, her whole body going rigid in shock. It all happened in an instant. Lumina's gloved hand cupped her cheek as she moved in, her lips parted for a kiss.

Something hot and shameful rose up in Lightning's chest as she felt Lumina's warm breath against her own lips, just a hair's width between them. She began to tremble, her breath growing short and desperate. She tried to wrench herself away, but Lumina's arm locked in its position and forced her to remain so unbearably close. She was far stronger than she looked and Lightning wasn't sure what the hell she was planning to do -

"I look like your sister..." Lumina looked up at her through her lashes, and Lightning tried to swallow. "But I'm _not_." 

Lightning swore violently and shoved Lumina away, raising her weapon in a futile warning that had come far too late. She burned with anger and humiliation, and that was _nothing_ compared to the embers Lumina had stirred up with her blatant sexuality. It had been far too long without a touch that wasn't a blow, Lightning reminded herself desperately. 

_Serah. Oh Etro, Serah. This is a nightmare._ Her whole body was shaking. She could hear Hope in her ear again, demanding what was wrong. Swearing again, she removed the ear piece and deactivated it.

Lumina just laughed at Lightning, and vanished into shadow.

###

Lightning couldn't _think_ , and whatever twisted mastery Valhalla had given her over emotions had evaporated. Everything was chaos inside her, a thousand different feelings, desires and fears warring for her attention. 

Her memory flickered back to those poor fools in solitary confinement. Chaotic emotions, anxiety and violent fantasies, depravity - the only reason she felt this way was because of Valhalla. That was the only reason she kept finding herself driven to distraction like this. It was the only reason she kept getting blindsided by the thought of Lumina's lips so close to her own, teasing, warm, _soft_ -

Lightning's whole body shuddered, and she splashed freezing water into her face yet again. Her breath sounded ragged to her own ears as she started at her sodden, wild-eyed reflection in the mirror. Her skin felt too hot and tight, and Etro she couldn't stop feeling _it_. She leaned back over the basin of water in the tiny hotel room she'd rented for the night, trying to drown the memory of Lumina's touch and forget the helpless, sick desire it had sparked. 

_She looks like Serah. I can't be feeling this way._

Heat suffused her body again, rising up from a steady ache between her legs, and she splashed more water against her face. She felt like a damn _monster_ for wanting someone with her sister's face, no matter how different their personalities. 

She wanted it so much, though. Just once. It had been so long and she needed it so badly - 

Back during their first encounter, Lightning had been so sure Lumina would never be able to break her. But she was only human - _painfully _so.__

__Worse, she was a human totally messed up by spending eternity as a warrior stand-in for a goddess._ _

__Etro - the role she had played for so long - had possessed no 'heart'. Humans, however, did.  
_ _

###

It took Lightning just a few hours to get herself under control, and when she emerged from her hotel room in Yusnaan, few would have guessed she'd been in turmoil at all. She'd gotten on with the job of turning back the doomsday clock and focusing her attention on her target - just the way the Corps had trained her. Just the way she'd somehow coped in Valhalla. 

Somewhere between her first job and her second, Lightning felt someone begin to follow her. After a few unenthusiastic attempts to ditch her watcher, she simply opted to ignore them. 

_Lumina is only after a reaction,_ Lightning reminded herself as she walked down a flight of stone stairs and into a busy market square. _She'll grow bored with her new toy soon enough._

Lightning just had to get a hold of herself. That was easier said than done, especially when a hot, uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach started up whenever she thought she caught a flash of strawberry hair out of the corner of her eye...

Of course, Lumina strung her out. It was afternoon before she finally showed herself, and by that point, Lightning had come to think of it as a twisted sort of mercy. 

Lightning had just finished up with one of her more difficult battles in the Dead Dunes, and she was covered in blood and dust from her fight. Lumina stepped out of her portal of coalescing shadow and light, resting a hand on her hip in deliberate mimicry of Lightning's own stance.

"That's not an all-too bad look on you, Lightning," Lumina told her after a moment of consideration, her voice both cheerful and sly as she all but sauntered over. She looked Lightning up and down as she drew closer - her expression could have best been described as a leer. 

The open desire in Lumina's eyes was unsettling. Lightning carefully schooled her features, and after taking a moment to adjust her shades, she took a long draught from her hi-potion. She focused on the foul, viscous liquid burning a trail down her throat, on the feeling of the cuts on her cheek slowly begin to knit together or on wiping the dark monster blood from the edge of her blade. They were all welcome distractions - but truthfully, she doubted her ability to hold it together if she met those cool blue eyes. 

"Such a cold greeting," Lumina said in response to Lightning's ongoing silence, and suddenly she'd evaporated from the safe position she'd been before. 

Lightning's eyes narrowed warily, her whole body prickling with tension. She felt the subtle shift of magic as Lumina materialised behind her - and close. It took every shred of stubbornness she possessed not to react the way she knew Lumina wanted. Her feigned apathy wavered dangerously, her breath catching imperceptibly as she felt Lumina lean over her shoulder. She didn't touch Lightning, but she hardly needed to. She was still so close that just the heat from her skin was enough. 

"Especially considering how... heated you were during our last meeting," Lumina finished, her lips almost grazing Lightning's ear and neck. 

Lightning's face had grown hot as her whole body began to rebel. Her iron control and dispassionate mask vanished as she took a sharp stride away from Lumina. How could she ignore _that?_ She raised her weapon, stopping Lumina's advance mid-stride.

"Quit playing around with me!" Lightning bit out, hating the way her words sounded pleading and desperate. She'd lost control of the situation - if she'd ever had it in the first place. 

"But you so _love_ to be played with..." Lumina leaned forward, her smile mischievous as she then rocked back on her heels. It really was a damn game to her. "I can tell. It makes you feel a little more... human."

Lightning faltered, and she lowered her weapon as Lumina's words struck home. The worst part was that it was completely correct. The games, the touches, the venomous quips and the blatant desire... 

Without a word, she sheathed her weapon and turned her back on Lumina.

It all made Lightning _feel_ , when once she'd been certain true humanity had slipped away forever. Lumina was saving her soul and damning it all the same. 

Whatever game she was playing at, she was winning, and Lightning's worst enemy was herself. By wreaking havoc on unbalanced emotions and crippling loneliness, Lumina was was breaking her apart at the seams.

 _Do I want her to win?_ Lightning asked herself, sagging against an outcropping of rock and burying her face in her hands for a moment. Her body felt as though it was on fire, but worst of all was the sobering, judgemental guilt continuing to rise in her chest. _Serah, I'm so sorry._

###

Guilt, as it turned out, was not enough to quell those thoughts of yearning, a sweet mouth and hot skin under her fingertips. 

It was close to midnight in Luxerion, mere hours after her confrontation with Lumina. Afraid and disturbed by the direction her thoughts had taken her, Lightning had continued her patrol of Luxerion's streets. Nights made the monsters bolder, and she was grateful for the distraction they unwittingly gave her. When she was shredding crawlers, breaking bones and giving Nova Chrysalia a little more time on the doomsday clock, it was easier to forget the hollow sense of loneliness in her chest. It was easier to ignore the clawing _need_ in the pit of her stomach that seemed to throb hotter with every breath she drew. 

_Lumina did this. She **did** this to me._

Rightly or wrongly laid, all the blame in the world couldn't stop it. 

Lightning turned down a darkened alley close to the edge of Luxerion's borders. With a great deal of difficulty, she kept her mind on her task and her senses trained on threat lurking in the shadows. That was when she felt the tell-tale shift of magic as Lumina arrived.

Lightning immediately paused, every muscle in her body going rigid and her eyes darted around the alleyway. The area was deserted, though the presence of others had never deterred Lumina before - sometimes, Lightning wondered if she actually relished it. 

Her hand strayed to the hilt of her blade, but she felt frozen with indecision as she tried to figure out what she was going to _do_. Her grasp on her weapon tightened convulsively as Lumina emerged from the shadows. 

Lightning's throat felt parched and raw, and she tried to swallow. Anger and raw _need_ warred inside her, and she closed her eyes for a moment. It did her no good - every curve of Lumina's body might has well have been branded on the back of her eyelids, with loving, sick detail. 

_I can't let this go on,_ Lightning told herself desperately. _There is too much at stake to allow myself to get sidelined like this._

She didn't draw her weapon as Lumina slowly approached her, and she couldn't bring herself to jerk away as her tormentor slowly reached out and touched her cheek. There had been plenty of time to move away, Lightning realised, feeling ill. She simply hadn't wanted to take it. 

The harsh scratch of Lumina's gloved fingers smoothing across the line of her jaw seemed to blaze a trail of fire across her skin. Lightning's breath began to shake, her tight grip on her sword making the muscles in her hands begin to cramp and ache. 

She didn't want this, but then again, she did. With furious intensity, she hated Lumina for provoking this, for being too much like Serah, for making that hate subliminate right through to sexual desire.

After a few moments, she slowly opened her eyes. Lumina was smiling up at her, of course. Why wouldn't she have been? After all, she'd _won_ , she'd corrupted Lightning in the worst possible way. 

She _needed_ Lumina with a sick desperation that she loathed. Her jaw set as her tormentor leaned forward, so close but still not touching. Still not giving Lightning what she craved. 

_"Oh,"_ Lumina murmured in her ear, the warm breath stirring the hair at the back of her neck. Lightning shivered as a hot-cold shudder ran through her, and her grip went slack on her weapon. Her hand fell to her side, and she offered no resistance as Lumina pulled her down with a grasp that felt inescapable. 

Lumina's kiss was both hard and breathless, her teeth scraping against Lightning's lower lip. It was demanding and rough, a silent command for Lightning to give everything of herself into the kiss, to yield to Lumina in an irredeemable way. 

She let out an unsteady and helpless moan, dizzy with sensation as she responded fervently with both teeth and tongue. Lumina wore Serah's face - how much further was there left for Lightning to fall now? Maybe she was the harbinger, if this was the limit of her sanity. Maybe she was as dangerous as the prophecy claimed. 

Need, hate, anger and simple _want._ Lightning was so weak and human, after spending eons as something more. 

"Please," Lightning gasped out between one kiss and the next, hating Lumina, Serah, Nova Chrysalia and Etro. Most of all, Lightning loathed _herself_. She hated that she was begging, and the fucked up, chaotic emotion in her head. She hated that she needed it so much. 

Lumina just laughed at the request. Her mouth moved to a spot on Lightning's neck for a moment, running her tongue over the pulse she found. Lightning's body wound even tighter at the sensation, and she allowed Lumina to grasp her by the collar and shove her back into the alleyway wall. 

With quick hands that never seemed to fumble and kisses that never let Lightning reorient herself, Lumina made short work of Bhunivelze's armour. Buckles clinked and cloth fell to the ground, leaving Lightning half-dressed, exposed, and maddeningly desperate for more. 

After a moment, Lumina paused between her rough kisses, taking Lightning's face in her hands. Lumina's breath was trembling, almost imperceptibly, but that observation was dashed from Lightning's mind as Lumina released her face, running her fingers down. 

Lightning squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear looking as Lumina cupped her breast and rolled her nipple in a way that made her hips twitch. She bit her lower lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from making a sound.

Etro, Lumina was _wearing Serah's face_ and it felt so fucked up and _wrong_ -

Lumina stopped, and Lightning's eyes snapped open in surprise. Her eyes were unreadable as she slowly backed away.

"Why?" Lightning finally demand. Lumina had been about to get exactly what she wanted. Why the hell did she stop? 

"Own your desire... _Claire._ " The words hung in the air between them as Lumina vanished in motes of light. 

Lightning was left alone in the alleyway, and it felt more like it was a punishment than the reprieve it should have been. Hating Lumina and her mind games with a renewed intensity, she began to dress herself. 

Bhunivelze's armour buckled into place again in moments. Nobody would have ever been the wiser on what had very nearly happened. 

Lightning knew what she'd almost allowed to happen, and those thoughts dogged her footsteps as she tried to resume her patrol.

###

Back in her Luxerion hotel room, Lightning sagged onto her bed, feeling both exhausted and on edge from her 'confrontation' with Lumina. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire. 

_How could you do this to me?_ Lightning silently demanded of Lumina. It was bad enough that she'd worn down the walls, and forced Lightning to feel like a monster as her body rebelled. Then she'd stopped and left Lightning hanging. Cruel as it had been, it didn't feel like Lumina's normal MO. 

Humans and servants of Bhunivelze could not see Lumina - that had been something Lightning had quickly come to understand. Their eyes simply slid over her, lacking the strength of magic and will required. 

_It's not enough for her to do this to me,_ Lightning realised, looking down at the leather gloves of her hand as if seeing them for the first time. _It's not enough for her to make me want her._

After a few moments of quiet thought, Lightning rose to her feet. 

For countless years, she'd played the role of Etro. The goddess had possessed no heart, and in the silent solitude of Valhalla, Lightning hadn't been able to hold on to her own. 

Now, she was human, and Etro gave humans their hearts. Corrupt or not, completely messed up as Lightning _knew_ that it was... 

Lightning resettled her shoulders, a calm focus descending on her. 

"Surrender", unconscious or otherwise, was not what Lumina was after at all.

###

Another day passed before Lightning felt the shift of magic again, and this time, she wasn't about to let Lumina dictate the rules of their encounter. She'd had _enough_. 

The courtyard of the Luxerion manor was deserted and dark, free from the monsters Lightning had only just dispatched. Cunning and manipulative as she was, Lumina had always seemed to like watching Lightning work. 

Lightning crossed her arms in front of her chest, clicking her tongue in annoyance as her watcher made no move to reveal herself.

"Get your ass out here," Lightning finally called, throwing the challenge out into the shadows. The seconds crept on, and a part of her wondered if she'd misjudged the situation. She very much doubted it, though. 

"You could have asked _nicely_ , you know," Lumina told Lightning, stepping out of the darkness at her side. 

Turning sharply, Lightning looked her up and down. Lumina was smiling, as always, her head tilted to the side as she tapped her cheek with a finger. Lightning must have become a little better at reading her though, because her eyes seemed just a little wary. 

_Good,_ Lightning snarled silently, striding forward and shoving Lumina against the courtyard wall - _hard_. 

She felt a sharp intake of breath against the side of her neck, and she took a moment to savour the _surprise_ when she pressed herself up against Lumina's body. 

The warmth nearly did Lightning in then and there, but somehow, she rallied herself. She was not going to just roll over and let Lumina do as she liked. 

If they were going to do this, it would be on Lightning's own terms. 

"You -" Lumina tried to say, her voice breathy and unsteady as Lightning knotted her fingers in silken hair and pulled roughly. She pressed kiss after kiss against the exposed side of Lumina's throat, flicking her tongue out every so often just to taste the heated skin. 

The warm scent went straight to Lightning's head, and again she had to pause keep herself together. Human touch after so _long..._

 _At least she smells nothing like Serah..._

The taste of Lumina's soft skin seemed to ignite the embers that had been smouldering in Lightning's chest for days. She pressed up against Lumina even harder, hungry and desperate for physical reciprocation. 

Lumina was soft and flexible, her body completely pliable as she grasped Lightning's face roughly. Her eyes were dark, her breath harsh and shallow already. 

"You broke," Lumina murmured, a self-satisfied smile lifting the corner of her mouth. Anger curling in her stomach, Lightning leaned forward and kissed that damn smile away, catching Lumina's full lower lip between her teeth and biting down until she could taste blood. 

"This is what you want," Lightning pulled back and hissed in her ear, before grasping Lumina's chin and forcing her to meet her gaze for gaze. "You knew exactly what you were doing." 

She didn't need to mention Etro, Caius or Valhalla. Lumina, invisible to most, understood the messed up sense of isolation better than anyone Lightning had encountered. Lumina's hips rolled against her own, and she bit back an unsteady groan as the ache between her legs grew sharp. Etro, she just _needed_ -

"I did." Lumina tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of Lightning's head, and she could feel hot breath against her clavicle. "Don't tell me you don't want it. You _need_ this."

Lightning shuddered and arched as Lumina's fingernails scraped, rough and demanding, over the exposed skin of her back. Quick teeth nipped at the skin under her jaw, and Lightning could hear Lumina working at the buckles of her armour. She claimed that mouth again, her breath coming hard and fast as Lumina's gloved hand trailed along the inside of her thigh.

Lightning's head was swimming as she felt Lumina's tongue curl inside her mouth, and her grasp on the girl's shoulders had to have been _bruising_. 

"You need _me_ ," Lumina said, pulling back from the kiss and lazily trailing her mouth down the skin of Lightning's chest. Her tongue lingered on where the l'Cie brand had once been, and Etro it almost felt like too much. 

Unsteady, Lightning's arm shot out to support herself against the wall as Lumina continued downwards. She could feel her heart pounding in her ribcage, and blinking rapidly, her grip of Lumina's hair tightened. More of Bhunivelze's armour fell to the ground, and she felt exposed and raw with need. 

Lumina slowly and painstakingly lowered herself to her knees, her back to the wall and her palms trailing up Lightning's sensitive inner thighs. She took hold of Lightning's hips, her grip both powerful and harsh. 

"I might as well be your sister," Lumina said, her blue eyes assessing, waiting for a reaction. 

Lightning's anger surged up inside her, but the games no longer mattered, not with the way Lightning was practically reeling with need. The only thing that mattered at _all_ was -

"And here you are, almost _begging_ for it." Lumina leaned forward, and her tongue was hot and slick as she dragged it across Lightning's oversensitive clit. 

Lightning's whole body shuddered at the first touch, her muscles ratcheting tighter and tighter as Lumina's tongue worked and swirled. She tangled her fingers in the soft hair more tightly, torn between shoving her away and yanking her closer. She was so corrupted and desperate, weak and needy even though she hated Lumina with everything she had -

She bit down hard on her own lip to stop herself from crying out, and her whole body trembled from the effort of keeping her hips from bucking. She refused to give Lumina that satisfaction - _Etro, what did she just do with her tongue?_ She squeezed her eyes shut again, sensation making odd, rapid colours bloom behind her eyelids. 

Lumina paused, her breath hot and torturous against Lightning's slicked core. Her fingernails dug sharply into flesh and bone.

"Don't look away," Lumina told her, nails biting harder into Lightning's hips. 

After a few moments of shaky defiance as she struggled to re-accommodate the whole idea of pleasure, Lightning forced herself to look down. She met Lumina's dark eyes, and felt a hot prickle of sweat rise across her skin.

When Lumina finally continued, Lightning couldn't help the needy moan from escaping her lips, allowing Lumina to inexorably drag her towards the edge. She'd surrendered though. That was not what she _wanted_. That wasn't what she'd promised herself. 

"You want this." The vibration of Lumina's voice against her almost sent her over the edge. "You want _me."_

"Yes," Lightning ground out, and from where she'd braced her head and arms against the wall, she watched Lumina shudder at the admission. She'd _paused._

Struck by an opportunity to level the field, Lightning immediately reached down, grasping the lacy black silk of Lumina's clothing and dragging her up to her feet. She could smell herself on Lumina's breath and skin, the scent inescapable and damning. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, Lightning shoved Lumina hard up against the wall and pressed a rough kiss against the side of her neck. She pressed the palm of her hand between two shoulder blades, taking one of Lumina's hands and pinning it hard against the concrete wall. 

A tiny sigh escaped her lips, and she arched under Lightning's hold. She rubbed herself back, attempting to retake control. It was hard not to simply let her. 

"I'm not the only one who needs it," Lightning hissed in Lumina's ear, nipping the shell and capturing the lobe with her tongue. "I thought this was about me. This is about _you_." 

Lumina's breath caught at that, and Lightning bent to sink her teeth into the exposed, soft skin of her shoulder. She didn't bother to remove any clothing - she didn't care enough. She slipped her hands down the front of the black skirt, pressing Lumina up against the wall even harder. All she wanted was to take Lumina until she came apart at the seams, just the way she'd been broken apart herself.

"You want me and you _see_ me-" Lumina broke off in a desperate moan as Lightning slipped her fingers inside in long, rough strokes. She was so hot, wet and needy, her hips jerking as Lightning fucked a distorted mirror image of Serah into the wall. 

"I see you and I hate you. I hate _everything_ you are," Lightning growled, her voice taut and shaking and she could tell that Lumina was so _close_. 

It was as if Lumina had been waiting all along for that admission of loathing - she cried out as she came hard. She rucked down savagely, slick against the thigh Lightning had slipped between her legs. 

Elated by her victory, Lightning held Lumina steady, feeling her tremble through the aftershocks of her orgasm. The ache between Lightning's legs had become unbearably sharp -

With a hand that seemed to shake, Lumina reached behind her, her fingers seeming to find Lightning's clit with unerring precision. Etro it was too much, she wasn't able to hold it back any more - Lightning buried her face in the crook of Lumina's neck. Her whole body shuddered, and she could do nothing but allow herself to finally climax.

As the roaring static in her ears and body slowly faded away, Lightning slumped against Lumina's shoulder, breathless, replete and completely drained of the tension that had plagued her for days. Her breath was still shallow and quick, and she felt Lumina lazily wipe her fingers against her thigh before reaching behind to cup Lightning's face. 

Lightning leaned into the touch for a moment, still so starved for physical affection that _anyone_ would do. Belatedly realizing what she was doing, Lightning shoved herself back and away from Lumina's hand. Her joints still felt like they were made of rubber, but she stooped to gather up her armour regardless.

She could feel Lumina's eyes on her as she buckled Bhunivelze's armour back on, the gaze almost like a physical touch. She didn't look up, refusing to be drawn in by the usual games. As far as she was concerned, this _thing_ was over. Lumina had gotten what she wanted. 

Lightning supposed that she had, as well, though she would never admit that aloud. 

Finally done, Lightning shot just one look over her shoulder as she left the dark courtyard. Lumina was smiling, her chin resting in the palm of her hand, and the look in her eyes was intense enough to send a shiver down Lightning's spine.

 _No,_ Lightning realised, turning away from Lumina and continuing on her way. A reluctant smirk curled at the corner of her mouth. _It's not over between us. It's only just starting._

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like updates as to current projects or just want to chat, feel free to come visit me on my tumblr: [zerrat](http://zerrat.tumblr.com/) (personal) and [zerratwritesstuff](http://zerratwritesstuff.tumblr.com) (writing)! I've currently got a bit of a preview post up [here](http://zerratwritesstuff.tumblr.com/post/57957305005/preview-post).
> 
> xxDster's mate mentioned calling this 'ship "Illuminate". I quite like it! Thoughts?


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